When our child falls down and scrapes his/her knee, we comfort them without regard to the silliness or fault on their part that lead to the scrape. When our spouse comes home flustered from a poor client report, maybe a hot chocolate and blankie are in order. On the other hand, one spouse does reach point of have to leave the other, IT IS PERSONAL. This love and acceptance is often the hard but essential work of family. One does not leave their husband or wife because they didn’t sell enough widgets, or iron enough shirts, or mow the grass in a straight line. Marriages dissolve because the whole package is not working. That is why it hurts so much. By the same token, the reason why family is special is because we are accepted there despite this shortcoming or that. With that, true intimacy is possible.
In the workplace, however, it is essential that we use our critical thinking skills and appraise how we assess the work of others relative to their position’s responsibilities and expectations. Likewise, we need to review our own work in like manner, as well as expect others to do the same when assessing our work. Notice, I said, how we assess the work relative to the position or role. We are not assessing the individual. It is not personal. Or at least, if you want a successful business it shouldn’t be. Some one who performs their role well at work is a godsend, even if we’d shutter at the thought of them eating thanksgiving dinner with us. Developing job expectations and how to evaluate the performance of that job is not easy, but essential to a successful business.
But what if both of these people, the person at home and the person at work are the same people? Ah, now, while the work of intimacy is not always easy and the development and review of job expectations is a challenge; to combine them successfully is the work of very committed, dedicated and rigorous people. The challenge is high, and to you who do it, I tip my hat in praise.
First and foremost, each individuals involvement in the business needs to fall into the category of unconditional positive regard. In other words, each individual in the business is a volunteer.
That is the basis upon which all other conclusions are drawn. Can some one with a seething resentment build a great business? Sure. Absolutely. Are they going to be too harmonious with the people at home with whom they have the resentment toward? I doubt it.
The decision to be involved in the business or not is not simply a decision to be accepted without judgement at the beginning, but all along the way. As with any other employ that can give two weeks notice or partner, that has some means of exit, the family member should be in the same position. This is a critical starting point. More areas will be explored in later.
Coach Chuck
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